When Celebrities Attack: Blood, Sweat and Window Replacement

From on October 15, 2009 in Window Replacement

Normally, when a star loses it, they only cause damage to themselves. But in this episode of “When Celebrities Attack,” we’ll examine what happens when the famous collide with glass and cause all kinds of window replacement problems. That’s right, this blog loves celeb gossip as much as everyone else.

Everyone knows celebrities are crazy. Some are obviously crazy, like Madonna, Dennis Rodman, Courtney Love or Jim Carrey. Then, there are some who go under the radar for most or even all of their career, but give them enough rope, and they’ll hang faster than a coat-check hanging coats at a coat collectors convention. Like when Michael Richards of Seinfeld mistook a Hollywood comedy club for a Klan rally. Or the time O.J. Simpson... What? Not funny yet? I was going to talk about the Vegas robbery he was recently convicted for, not that other thing!

Charles Barkley & Plate Glass Windows

Charles Barkeley Window ReplacementOne of my all-time favorite window smashing stories involves one of everyone’s all-time favorite personalities: Former NBA star Charles Barkley. While playing for the Phoenix Suns in 1997, Sir Charles went to Florida to take on the Orlando Magic. Barkley was at a bar drinking around 2 a.m. when 20-year-old Jorge Lugo threw a glass of ice and hit the round mound of rebound in the head. Barkley’s instinctive reaction? To chase Lugo to the front of the bar, where he finally cornered him.

Patrons watched as Barkley lifted Lugo off the ground and tossed him through a plate-glass window. Barkley then stepped through the window and stood over Lugo, taunting him even as nearby officers arrived on the scene. The window was most likely your typical plate glass commercial window. Big emphasis on the was part of that sentence.

Zandra Rhodes & Commercial Window Store Front

Zandra Rhodes causes this window to need replacing.

Those who know Charles Barkley may not know our next celeb window smasher. Zandra Rhodes, an international superstar in the world of fashion design, attacked a hardware store by crashing right into it. The designer famous for dressing Princess Diana drove her car directly through the middle of the window display of Meanley & Sons, a La Jolla hardware store. The incident happened this past June on a Tuesday morning, when the pink-haired Rhodes accidentally smashed her Ford Taurus wagon into the front window, smashing all the plate glass that made up the entire store front. My only question is a Ford Taurus? Really? You design some of the most expensive clothes in the world but Homer Simpson drives a cooler car than you do?

Lindsey Lohan & Sam Ronson & Casement Windows

Lindsay Lohan's cellphone crushed these double casement windows.What celebrity gossip story would be complete without Lindsay Lohan? You could literally write about any topic and this crazy broad would be involved somehow. Stalking, dramatic relationships, puppies. You name it and Lindsay’s been there. Alec, I’ll take windows for 500. In March of this year, police were called after a disturbance was reported at Lohan’s residence. Apparently, a window had been smashed out of the Hollywood Hills home. To this day, the window smashing remains a mystery. The consensus seems to be that a cell phone flew through the beautiful, shuttered double-casement window. The phone may have been launched either by Lohan or her now-estranged DJ girlfriend Samantha Ronson. The two seemed to be fighting about Lohan’s then-recent DUI arrest. The cops came for the smashed-out window and not the warrant stemming from the DUI. But maybe they both should have been arrested for repeat offenses. For being stupid.

Michael Jackson and…Well Just Watch

Like Lohan, the late Michael Jackson was always head of the crazy brigade. Jackson didn’t break any windows, but in this video, he shows how you can be creative in the vicinity of glass, balconies and frightening elevation. This is the craziest behavior, window involved or not. You just have to see it to believe it.

Suge Knight, Vanilla Ice & Mystery Window

Suge night didn't break any windows, but he's still crazy.Speaking of craziness that didnt end in chards of glass sprinkled across vehicle hoods (or faces, for that matter), Suge Knight is our next culprit. Head of Death Row records, the controversial and notoriously violent music producer didn’t break a window when he hung 90s pop rapper Vanilla Ice by his ankles from a 20th-floor hotel window, but he did break the seal on Ice’s bladder in the process. I’m guessing the window might have been some sort of single hung or double hung style. The story goes that Knight threatened Ice in a variety of ways, trying to force him to sign over the rights to his hit song, Ice, Ice Baby. According to Knight, the song contained a bass line sampled from a work of his. When Ice disagreed, Knight and his thugs hung him out the window until he agreed to give the rights over to Death Row.

Josh McNeil, Flower Pot & a Casement Window

Window replacement courtesy of Josh McNeil's flower pot.Although Josh McNeil may not be a household name, he is a noteworthy character in the world of college football. In 2007, McNeil was the starting center for the University of Tennessee Volunteers football program when he had a Charlie Sheen-esque night of celebration that involved broken glass, several drunk women and a small armory in his campus apartment. The facts are this: Police responded to a call from McNeil’s neighbor several hours after a victory during the ‘07 season. What the cops found was a smashed-out casement window and a crushed flower pot inside on the floor. There was blood all over what remained of the glass pane. Also inside the apartment were several shotguns, rifles and handguns. The cops, with the help of a school official, opened the final door to a room that housed three passed-out teenage women in the star center’s bed and a drunken McNeil. No charges were filed against McNeil, but the three women received misdemeanors for consuming alcohol as minors. However, his team did charge him with the responsibility of throwing all the Vol victory parties for the rest of the year.

Andre Rison, Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes & Every Window in the House

Sometimes you have to replace windows when your gf burns your house down.

I saved the best for last. This crazy didn’t smash a window with a cell phone or toss a flower pot through somebody’s home. In 1994, this former singer/rapper and member of TLC brought down the house. Problem was it wasn’t her house and she used tennis shoes and lighter fluid instead of a mic and a drum machine. Apparently, “Left Eye” was upset over her tumultuous relationship with her then-boyfriend, Atlanta Falcon’s wideout Andre Rison. To get revenge, she tried to “barbecue his shoes” in a bathtub by dousing them in lighter fluid and setting them on fire. The result? The two-story mansion was destroyed, windows and all. I remember in college, I burned a cd for a girlfriend… I never thought to burn a house for her… hmmm.