When He Wants This and She Wants That

From on February 19, 2009 in General Remodel


My husband and I just spent the past year remodeling our house, so I have a lot to say about the disagreements that can arise during the process. A home renovation project always entails a certain amount of stress, which can make matters worse. The saying goes “if your marriage can survive a building project, you can probably make it through anything.”

My husband likes to “do things the right way the first time,” even if it takes forever to finish a project. I, on the other hand, look for the quickest way to reach the end goal while still producing a quality result. That was where we disagreed the most on our project. He wanted to do the extensive renovation, completely changing the layout of our house, although he didn’t think the kitchen really needed very much of an upgrade. I just wanted to fix-up the kitchen and call it good. We ended up doing things his way, along with a full kitchen remodel; and even though the project took six-months longer, I have to admit the improvements were definitely worth it. Ultimately, we both gave a little and settled on a reasonable point.

Home renovations are normally advantageous. However, they do entail a certain amount of expense and disruption to your life. Along the way, you and your spouse are bound to disagree over improvements, materials, and other issues that arise along the way. Try to find a middle ground, each giving a little. We also drew on the opinions of friends, family, our contractor, and realtor for advice. That helped us to make a more informed decision instead of just operating off of personal opinion and emotion.

Don’t be afraid to take a break and get away for a few days. A nice retreat together or even an evening away from all of the stress will help you to clear your minds and reconnect.

Kitchen photo by SRJ Construction & Design